The Heart Is Where Your Home Is

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Written by andreaintorbay

Imagine living for 20+ years in a place you called home. Think of the birthdays celebrated, Christmas trees decorated, presents unwrapped, new year’s countdowns, movie nights and countless other treasured memories made. The time and care put into that house to make it a home is immeasurable. You clean and dust and scour and scrub and sweep, all while thinking to yourself is this ever going end and you begin to hate the “housework”. But it’s your home and your family’s home so you do whatever it takes to keep everything in tiptop shape. Then one day just like that it’s all gone. The physical house is still there but you’re no longer a part of it. It’s left for another family to come in and pick up where you left off; new memories and traditions to be made.

When my brother in law, Tony, died by suicide in 2022 it was like the wind was knocked out of me and sometimes I still feel like I’m trying to catch my breath. I cannot fathom how my sister and her girls mustered the strength to carry on, but they did and still are. It has been a tough few years since that fateful day in November that changed us all forever. Fast forward to spring of 2025 when Margie decided to sell the family home. It was an excruciating decision to be sure but there comes a time when one must do what’s best for themselves and their family. It began with the little things. A few boxes here and there, some packing tape, bubble wrap, sharpies and lots of tears. How do you take everything you’ve accumulated over the years and condense it into a cardboard box to be shuttered away in a storage unit? Let me tell you it was baby steps. A plan was formulated and we all worked bit by bit going from room to room. Each day we’d work our asses off and at night Margie and I would stay at Mom’s house, have a glass of wine or two and come up with the next day’s game plan. Wash, rinse, repeat. In the initial days I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I didn’t want to start in right away gutting the place. I wanted to preserve as much of the home as possible for Margie’s sake, maybe mine too. Seeing the cabinets empty and the walls bare was a stark reminder of what was happening to this so-called life and a place that was often a second home to me. I almost felt like I didn’t want her to know what I was doing even though she was right there beside me packing away dishes, deciding what furniture to keep and where she was going to store it all. As time moved on we started to see progress. My favourite quote I’d always say to Margie when she felt like nothing was getting accomplished was “We’re getting there.” It was often said in jest but I truly meant it; it really was baby steps but progress was being made. There were days when we’d laugh so much that our faces hurt and sometimes we’d piss ourselves. And there were days so challenging we’d throw up our hands and give up before the day was half over. Up, down, up, down, a proverbial roller coaster. Through it all we did come across some amazing treasures and a great trip down memory lane.

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Margie’s High School Jacket
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Jacket from Margie’s school uniform
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Margie’s sweater she wore as a kid
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Our brother Gary’s scribbler
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One of our dad’s drawings
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Souvenir of the long gone margarine
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A yellow note with handwritten text next to a vintage photo of two children playing in a bathtub, both smiling and enjoying their time.
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The present was a beer t-shirt
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Tony’s well worn shirt

“Each day we’d work our asses off and at night Margie and I would stay at Mom’s house, have a glass of wine or a cold beer and come up with the next day’s game plan.”

I remember when John and I lived in the Goulds. After a number of years the time came when we decided to sell the house and move to Torbay. I had only lived there for a short time but parting with that house really took a toll on me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love our current home in Torbay but I guess it’s something about your first house that makes it hard to leave. For a long while I couldn’t even drive down the Ruby Line without crying my eyes out. I even had a recurring dream where we would sneak back into the house while the owners were away and “live” there. I remember feeling scared in the dream that they were going to come back and catch us in their house. I’m sure a psychologist would have a lot to say about that but that’s a discussion for another time!

John, Charlotte and I had been to Margie and Tony’s house a gazillion times and knew it well. We knew if we ever needed a place to stay that we would be welcome with open arms. It was tough seeing the home slipping away and becoming just a house. So many amazing memories were made there and we were always grateful for the hospitality that was shown to us whenever we visited. Beer, BBQ’s, snacks and coffee were always in abundance.

A man stands next to a newly set up gas grill on a wooden deck, smiling while showing off the grill's features.
A girl in a colorful dress plays a dancing game on a mat while a boy observes, both in a festive living room decorated for the holidays.
Close-up of a peony bud with pink petals, surrounded by green leaves and droplets of water.
A girl and a woman smile while holding two cats in their arms. The girl has a gray and white cat, and the woman is holding a black and white cat. The background features holiday decorations and cards.
Three children excitedly open a gift while sitting on the floor surrounded by wrapped presents and colorful holiday decorations.
A beautifully decorated Christmas tree adorned with lights, ornaments, and a star on top, surrounded by colorful wrapped gifts.
Three young girls playing with toy rides in a cozy living room decorated for the holidays, with a Christmas tree in the background.
A family gathering in a living room with a child playing with a toy, while adults sit on a couch. One adult is taking photos, and another is reading. Various toys and decorations are visible in the background.
A woman celebrating her 50th birthday, smiling while holding a feathered wand and a pink cocktail glass, wearing a birthday badge, with festive decorations in the background.
Close-up of a pale pink peony flower with a vibrant yellow center, surrounded by green leaves.
A group of young girls and adults are gathered around a wooden table, engaged in decorating eggs for a holiday activity. Various art supplies are scattered on the table, including paint, brushes, and empty egg cartons. A plate of white eggs is prominently displayed in the center.
A cozy living room decorated for the holidays, featuring a Christmas tree with lights and ornaments, a fireplace adorned with festive decorations, and a group of people seated and conversing on couches.
Three children celebrating New Year's Eve, wearing colorful hats and leis in front of a festive Christmas tree.
An elderly woman and four young girls looking out of a window, with warm indoor lighting and curtains drawn back.
Three men sitting on a wooden deck, enjoying a casual gathering with a small dog in front of them. A camper and some greenery are in the background.
A snowy scene featuring a house with a porch, surrounded by snow-covered ground and a small evergreen tree in the foreground. Two figures are visible in the window, looking out.
A group of seven people wearing various costumes, including lace and fabric shawls, hats, and glasses, posing together in a living room decorated for the holidays.
Group of four friends gathered in a cozy living room decorated for New Year's, sitting around a coffee table filled with food and drinks, with a large Christmas tree in the background.
A man in a gray shirt is chopping food in a kitchen, with a pot of chopped vegetables in the foreground and a piece of chicken on a plate nearby.
A group of three children celebrating a birthday party with colorful party hats, sitting in front of two decorative cakes. One cake is shaped like a character, and the other is pink with a doll on top.
Three children in pajamas gather around a table, focused on an activity involving craft materials.
Close-up of vibrant red poppy flowers growing amidst green foliage, with small white flowers in the foreground.

What sustains us and helps us move forward in life is our need for connection. Whether it’s spending time with family or good friends we all yearn to have that bond or attachment to another living being. There were many opportunities over the summer for us to get together with our loved ones even if it was only for a quick visit in some cases. When I look at these next set of photos taken in summer 2025 I can recall the fun we had, the memories made and the joy each of these encounters brought to me, and hopefully to those individuals in the snaps as well!

Four women posing for a selfie with playful photo props, including signs that read 'Proud,' 'I'm Done!' and 'Dream Big!'
A selfie of two women smiling in a parking lot with various cars. In the background, the Newfoundland Chocolate Company sign is visible, along with a Home Depot store.
Two women smiling while seated in a car, both wearing glasses and seatbelts.
Two women smiling while sitting at a table with drinks in tall glasses. The table is covered with a red tablecloth.
A group of four adults and a dog are gathered in a hallway, smiling and posing for a selfie. The dog is wearing a red harness, and the adults are dressed casually, with one wearing a blue jacket, another in a green top, and two in red and black shirts.
Three women posing together in a brightly lit space with purple lighting, featuring decorative elements in the background.
Three women smiling together in a lively indoor venue with colorful lighting, each holding a can of beer.
Two women smiling for a photo, one holding a beer bottle and the other holding a glass of clear beverage. They are dressed in casual attire with one wearing a red shirt featuring a Canadian flag.
A group of five people enjoying a meal together at a dining table filled with food items, drinks, and wrapped gifts. The setting is cozy, with wooden furniture and decorations in the background.
An older woman sitting on a chair on a porch, wearing a light blue shirt and denim shorts, with gray hair and glasses.
A woman sitting on a chair on a wooden deck, smiling and holding a can of beer.
Four adults standing together outdoors in a green setting, two men holding drinks and two women smiling, one with a can and one with a bottle.
A group of five people sitting on the steps of a yellow house, with colorful flower pots nearby. Two women are sitting side by side in the front, a man is sitting in the middle, and another man and a woman are positioned behind them. An elderly woman stands in the doorway.
Four people smiling for a selfie outside a house with a yellow exterior, surrounded by greenery and flowers.
A group of six people posing for a photo on a porch, with three seated in the front and three standing behind. The setting features a yellow wooden exterior and some flowers in the foreground.
Three women standing at the entrance of a house, with one older woman in the middle and two younger women on either side, all smiling. The woman on the left wears a black tank top and olive green pants, while the woman on the right wears a white top with a denim jacket and a black skirt. A flower pot with yellow flowers is in the foreground.
Five women standing together at a doorway, smiling. They are dressed casually, with flowers in a planter at their feet.
A group of eight people pose together on a porch, with some sitting and others standing behind them. The setting features a house with yellow siding.
Three adults standing on a porch in front of a yellow house. The first person on the left has short, light-colored hair and is wearing a dark floral shirt, the middle person has gray hair and glasses, wearing a white striped shirt, and the third person on the right has short gray hair, wearing a light blue checkered shirt.
A group of five people posing together in front of a house, with a grandmother figure in the center and four younger individuals on either side.
Two women standing side by side in front of a yellow house door, smiling. One woman has long hair and glasses, wearing a light blue top and black shorts. The other woman is older, with short gray hair, wearing a white and black striped top and dark pants. A pot of yellow flowers is visible beside them.
Three women smiling together in a cozy cafe setting, each enjoying a beverage. One woman holds a black cup, while another has a coffee in a paper cup. The background includes shelves and metal decor.
A man with a beard wearing a black band t-shirt stands beside an elderly woman in a light blue shirt, both smiling outdoors in front of a yellow house.
A smiling person with glasses and long hair wearing a denim jacket, holding a sheet of paper with text, seated in a casual setting with a poster visible in the background.
Three women smiling inside a car, each holding an ice cream cone, with two women in the foreground and one in the backseat.
A group of five women seated at a table in a restaurant, smiling at the camera. The table is decorated with napkins and condiments, and the background features wall art and ambient lighting.
A woman examines a large collage of photographs on a wall celebrating a 60th birthday, with a decorative banner reading 'Happy 60th Birthday' above the photos.
A woman celebrating her 60th birthday stands next to a decorated wall filled with photos capturing memorable moments. She is wearing a sash that reads '60 & Fabulous!' and smiling, surrounded by joyful memories.
Group of five smiling individuals posing in front of a colorful balloon-themed backdrop.
A group of eight people and a dog posing together for a selfie in a home setting, with smiling faces and a warm atmosphere.
A group of six people smiling together in a cozy indoor setting, with large windows showing greenery outside.
Two women smiling for a selfie outdoors, with green trees in the background. One woman has light gray hair and glasses, wearing a pink top, and the other has dark hair and is wearing a black and white patterned blouse.
Three people posing for a selfie on a porch, surrounded by greenery and decorated balloons.

As the summer progressed, so did the “downsizing”. Difficult choices had to be made as to what to throw away, sell or keep and put into storage. It was an eyeopening process to be sure. Through it all Margie and the girls stayed strong and persevered to the very end.

Five beer glasses displayed on a wooden countertop, featuring brands including Bitburger, Samuel Adams, Beck's, Harp Lager, and Heineken.
Close-up view of a digital piano keyboard with black and white keys, set against a beige wall.
A collection of colorful coffee mugs displayed on a wooden countertop, featuring various designs, including ones representing Berlin and New York.
A woman sitting on a step ladder in an empty room with brown walls and wooden flooring.
A collection of various beer glasses displayed on a shelf, including a Muskoka Brewery glass, a Moosehead beer glass, a Corona Extra glass, and a Smithwick's glass.
A classic silver alarm clock with a white face, black numbers, and red hands, positioned on a blue tablecloth surrounded by colorful decorative items.
A colorful outdoor setup featuring a table covered with various toys, including stuffed animals, plastic dinosaurs, a small car, and colorful balls, surrounded by greenery.
A collection of board games, including Scrabble Junior, Hedbanz, Twister, and Operation, displayed on blue storage bins and a laundry basket in a grassy outdoor setting.
A woman sitting on a couch in a cozy living room, sorting through a stack of CDs on a wooden table, with sunlight streaming through lace curtains.
Two glass tumblers featuring 'The Newfoundland Distillery Co' logo, surrounded by various kitchen items on a wooden countertop.
A wooden mantel clock with a glass front, featuring a white face with black numbers and hour markers, and a pendulum at the bottom.
A collection of spice jars on a shelf, including Sumac, Whole Cloves, Tandoori Masala, and Ground Nutmeg, with colorful lids.
Digital clock and humidity monitor displaying indoor temperature of 27.1°C, outdoor temperature of 34.1°C, and humidity levels at 36%.
A collection of various buttons on a blue plastic tray, featuring slogans and images related to social causes, local events, and brands.

The road we travel on takes many twists and turns. Sometimes you’re going along and suddenly you hit a pothole and it just about swallows you whole. Yet, you choose to get back on the road and you have no idea where you’re going. You just need to have faith that everything will work out as it’s supposed to.

I often like to think of Tony as a “curator of memories”, not unlike myself. That’s one thing we had in common. He loved taking pictures of EVERYTHING, as do I! He was interested in genealogy, family ties and relationships. He had a wealth of knowledge about our beloved community of Riverhead and it’s inhabitants. As I was helping Margie sort through photo albums, I was delighted to see some familiar and not-so-familiar faces from long ago as well as some from the recent past. Many I’ve never seen before. See if you can name any!

A group of young boys in gray uniforms and red neckerchiefs are saluting and posing in front of a building. Some boys are standing in a playful manner, while others are raising their hands in a gesture of salutation.
Three children standing outside a building holding flags: one Canadian flag and one green flag, with two children saluting.
A smiling family of three standing outside a house, with a man holding a baby and a woman beside them. Colorful balloons are hanging from a tree, and the yard is filled with grass and flowers.
Scenic view of a rural landscape featuring small houses and buildings, set against a backdrop of hills under a blue sky.
Black and white photograph of a group of children dressed in formal attire and veils, gathered at a door in 1965, with an adult woman handing something to one of the children.
A historic black and white photograph from 1965 featuring a group of children dressed in formal attire, including some in wedding dresses, standing on the steps of a building. Two clergy members are visible in the background, along with a woman in a black dress and head covering.
Three individuals sitting on a couch in a living room, each holding a video game controller, with a plant in the foreground and blue curtains in the background.
A rural landscape featuring several houses, surrounded by open fields and trees under a pale sky.
A crowd of people standing behind a wooden fence at an outdoor event, with a man in the foreground wearing a striped shirt and jeans.
A group of six children and an adult woman sitting on a couch, with a light-colored lace curtain in the background. The children vary in age and are dressed in colorful clothing, with some displaying smiles. A yellow toy with a cat design is visible on the floor.
A winter landscape featuring a view of houses along a snow-covered road, with a telephone pole and trees in the foreground.
A view of a rural road intersection leading to small houses, with telephone poles and a fence in the foreground.
A group of children running on a snowy street with houses in the background. The sky is overcast, and the scene captures a playful outdoor moment.
A man is enjoying a hamburger while a woman sits beside him, smiling and holding a can of Coca-Cola. They are at an outdoor picnic table surrounded by trees.
A man sweeping the floor in a dimly lit room with a wooden chair in the background.
Four men sitting on a bench in an outdoor setting, wearing casual clothing and hats. The background features trees and a painted wall.
An elderly woman and a middle-aged man are dancing together in a cozy indoor setting, both smiling and looking happy.
A group of people gathered at a baseball field, with two young boys in the foreground, one wearing a red jersey and the other in a yellow shirt with the number 7. The background shows other players in casual attire, with trees visible in the distance.
A man stands outdoors with two young girls, one on each side. The girls are holding certificates while smiling at the camera. There is a wooden fence in the background and greenery around them.
A slightly blurred photo capturing two people outdoors, with a cloudy sky in the background. One person in the foreground has dark hair and is wearing a patterned shirt with red pants, while another person is walking behind, with light-colored hair and wearing a grey t-shirt.
A group of five people posing together in a relaxed setting, with two men wearing hats and formal attire, a woman in a fur coat, and two children holding a guitar, sitting on a row of chairs.
Three women posing together on stage, wearing vintage fur-trimmed coats and stylish outfits, with a festive background featuring a Christmas tree.
Two men posing by a blue pickup truck, one standing outside wearing a plaid jacket while the other sits inside the truck, with trees in the background.
A man and a woman smiling closely together in a green outdoor setting, with the man playfully hugging the woman from behind.
A group of young people sitting on bleachers at an outdoor event, some wearing green and red sports uniforms, engaged in conversation and looking around.
Three boys smiling and playing in the snow with a sled, surrounded by trees and a wooden fence in the background.
A group of four people sitting on a bench in a wooded area, wearing casual outdoor clothing, smiling at the camera.
A view of a small town featuring a white church with a bell tower and a second white building, situated at the intersection of two roads, surrounded by hills.
Three friends sitting on a couch, holding drinks and enjoying their time together in a cozy living room.
A group of five people posing together in a hospital room. One woman sits on a bed holding a plate, while the others stand beside her, smiling. The room has pink walls and medical equipment in the background.
A hospital room with a patient lying in bed and two visitors sitting by the bedside. The room has large windows covered with light curtains, medical equipment, and a small table with personal items.
Three women stand by a calm body of water, with trees in the background. One woman is holding a baby in a stroller, while the other two women are standing beside them.
Two young girls are standing in a garden surrounded by green grass and flowers. One girl, wearing a floral dress, is touching her friend's arm, while the other girl, dressed in a light shirt and striped pants, looks directly at the camera. In the background, an adult woman is partially visible behind trees.
Two women standing together in a living room, both wearing cozy white robes. The room features decorative elements like a plant, framed artwork, and a television.
A smiling man wearing a blue sweater and a grey hat sits on the floor next to a small wooden crib, while a toddler in a blue denim jacket plays in the crib.
Two men sitting at a table in a kitchen, each holding a glass. The older man on the left has a mustache and is wearing a striped shirt, while the younger man on the right is smiling and wearing a long-sleeve shirt.
A woman holding a vintage clock with a decorative wooden frame, while a child looks on in a cozy living room setting.
Two smiling men posing for a photo at a social gathering, one with a drink. They are dressed in collared shirts, showing a friendly and cheerful atmosphere.
A man wearing a tuxedo and a straw hat stands in a doorway, smiling at the camera. The background shows a simple room with light-colored walls and some furniture.
A man sitting on a couch holding a baby dressed in a striped outfit, both smiling at the camera.

The day finally came where we mustered up as many people as we could to clear out the final pieces of furniture and boxes, ready to be placed in storage. When I say “It takes a village” you can be sure truer words were never spoken when it comes to packing up and moving out. It’s that same village that not only does the heavy lifting but also provides a shoulder to lean on, or in some cases, cry on.

Two women smiling in front of a U-Haul advertisement promoting one month of free storage. One woman is wearing a blue shirt and the other is in a pink top.
A man and a woman embrace outside a storage facility, with orange storage doors in the background and a vehicle parked nearby.
A woman and a man standing inside the back of a moving truck, with the truck's ramp extended. The woman is smiling while resting her hand on the side of the truck, and the man is sitting on a wooden table. Various storage items are visible inside the truck.
A group of seven people posing for a selfie inside a storage unit, smiling and giving thumbs up, surrounded by furniture and boxes.
A man and a woman smiling for a selfie inside a moving truck, with the man driving and a grassy landscape visible outside.
Three people sitting inside a vehicle, with one person driving and two passengers smiling for a selfie. The driver is using a phone, while one passenger wears sunglasses and the other has short hair.
A group of three people smiling and posing for a selfie in a storage unit, with cardboard boxes in the background. One person is pushing a cart.
A woman sitting on a chair in front of orange garage doors, with a wooden table and a decorative bowl nearby.
A group selfie of three smiling individuals standing outside a facility with orange storage unit doors in the background.
A group of four people sitting around a table in a kitchen, engaged in conversation. The table is covered with a lemon-patterned tablecloth, and there's a woman standing in the kitchen preparing food.
Group of four people walking in a storage unit facility with orange doors on either side and a cloudy sky above.
A view from a garden featuring green leaves in the foreground, with a truck partially visible among trees in the background.

Margie and Tony had lilac trees growing in their garden that provided beautiful blooms each summer. Like clockwork, Tony would always pick some for Margie because he knew how much she loved them and she’d display them proudly in a vase by the window. It was a yearly tradition. As I waited in the car for her one day, I watched her pick a few of the blooms herself. We decided to dig up a few smaller lilac plants that surrounded the big tree and plant them in my garden in Torbay. That way she’d still have a connection to the lilac tree. Mind you, the trees in my yard are small but I’m happy to say they are thriving, with the hope and promise of one day being transplanted again to Katelyn and Emily’s own forever homes.

A lush garden scene featuring blooming lilac flowers amidst green foliage, with trees and a cloudy sky in the background.
A woman with shoulder-length hair is standing in a garden, picking lilac flowers from a bush, surrounded by green foliage and grass.

Every time I’d visit Margie’s place this was my favorite view, especially in summer. I’m sure the same could be said by anyone who visited there over the years. Summertime, the yard was filled with birds singing and the sweet smell of grass would pass through the window. You could hear the leaves rustling in the warm breeze. Occasionally you’d hear tires gently crackling over the pebbles on the road as a car slowly drove by. It’s these memories of home that you’ll always carry with you because your heart is where the home is.

View through a lace curtain window showing green trees and a clear sky outside.

Thanks, again to Margie and the family for allowing me to share their story and some of their photos.

Until next time!

Andrea

1 Comment

  1. Another great blog,Andrea ! Home certainly is where the heart is ! I truly loved seeing all the pictures and hearing all the memories from years gone by .It isn’t easy to say goodbye to a place you have lived in for many years but the good thing is that your memories go with you .No one can take your memories from you ….they go with you to your next abode ! Margie and the girls are making new memories now but will always have the memories of their first home. Good luck to all of you in your new “homes “! God Bless !

    Reply

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